


old habits die hard (almost as hard as i fell for you)

by tinyjew



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and theres a dog park!!, connor wants to be friends w everyone and gavin is IN LOVE w him, this is so soft btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 15:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15270354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyjew/pseuds/tinyjew
Summary: Connor's back after the revolution, and Gavin can't find it within himself to tear his eyes away. He has a lot on his plate, trying to sort out his emotions.aka, Connor is soft and Gavin so, so gay.





	old habits die hard (almost as hard as i fell for you)

**Author's Note:**

> everyone posts some angsty shit w gavin and connor (and i thrive on it) BUT i want that fluff. gavin bein so soft for connor and doing his best to sort out his problems? hell yeah. connor not putting up with bullshit but still v sweet and forgiving? i DO think so,,

 “Androids have been equal for months!” two TV anchors cheered. Whether genuine happiness or false persona, he couldn't tell. “It feels good to have something work out so  spectacularly as this did!” The news anchors disappeared from the screen. In their place were several Deviant faces. The news crawl replayed the names of the revolutions heroes. News of the of the android victory arose every couple of weeks, reaffirming that,  yes it happened . 

The screen showed a strong mix of emotions. Joy, from the androids. Strong, unbridled joy. The camera panned across them. Gavin could see lots of… human emotions. Pride. Determination. Relief. Something so strong and warm. A few of them were crying, which startled Gavin to the bone every time. Seeing the tears streaming down their faces, he had thought them to be human. But the LED’s on their temples gave them away. 

But from fierce joy, there was also vicious anger. The people standing behind the androids stood in a stony silence. Sure, there were a few cheering, smiling faces. A few people comfortable in the element. But the sharp contrast of joy from the androids and malevolent stares got to Gavin. The knitted brows curled into scowls. Frowns and hesitant looks between the people. One man off to the side had to  be dragged away, murder in his eyes.

Gavin felt like someone sent fifty electrical shocks through his body. He always did when he saw the footage. To be completely honest, he still wasn’t sure how to feel. On one hand, he could understand the people's look of anger and apprehension. He spent  years  hating androids, for whatever personal reason he had. (Gavin knew what it was. He knew it was because stupid Elijah Kamski and his ridiculous robots and his obnoxious IQ. Gavin hated him. Resented him and in turn, resented CyberLife.) He hated androids sent in to replace humans. He hated their perfectness, their stupid mechanisms…

Connor was on his screen. Sandwiched between two other androids, smiling so, so hard. It looked like his face might split in half. Gavin sat up. He hadn’t seen Connor in person in… how long had it been?

Gavin remembered how he could relate to seeing those androids so elated. Seeing  Connor  so elated. To see the fight they fought finally become a victory.

Gavin sat back in his chair, rubbing the scar on the bridge of his nose. This made things so much more difficult. There was so much conflict in Gavin’s head. So much spinning, so much moving. 

Half of him wanted to believe that those androids didn’t have some malfunction. Wanted to think of androids as people, but something couldn’t get him past it. These were robots. Machines. They had wiring and mechanisms and replaceable components. The only android he had ever interacted with was Connor, and even then that was when he hadn’t deviated. How could he even begin to understand what it was like? How could he understand what went on? Androids were robots. Glorified computers. Gavin squinted at the television. But if that was true then  why  couldn’t he convince himself that it was? He wanted to tell himself that androids were androids, people were people, and that was that. Nothing to it. 

He wasn’t positive that he believed himself anymore.

On the side of his couch, his phone buzzed. Gavin scowled and picked it up. God, it was 10:00 at night. Whoever it was better have good reason to bother him.

Chris:  Hey bitch,  just wanted to let u know that Connor’s coming back to the force

Chris:  try not to be such a dick to him this time, its ILLEGAL!!

Gavin let his head drop onto the back of his couch. Jesus. Of course Connor was coming back as soon as he could after a damn  android revolution . From his side, Rex lifted her head, blinking a few times and let out a curious ' mrow?'  As he cursed under his breath. 

“Nothin’, bud. Go back to sleep.” He cooed, folding the calico in his arms and stroking her fur. “It’s all good. Sleep.” The TV screen flickered again, contrasting with the dark room. Gavin’s eyelids seemed so heavy. The prospect of sleep seemed nice. A good escape from thinking right now. But he figures he at least needed to reply back to Chris before the detective got worried and tried to call him. Rex balanced herself on his one arm, and he made quick work of the text. He tossed the phone to the side and curled up under a blanket, making a pocket for his cats head to peek out.

Gavin:  whatever, see ur ass tomorrow

-

Gavin couldn’t believe Chris and Tina bringing in gifts for Connor’s empty desk. What was an android going to do with  plants ? He shook his head and rubbed his eyes a few times, hoping to help wake himself up more than he now was. Because of  course  Connor was going to come in here, looking as immaculate as ever. He sat right across from Gavin (whose dark circles and un-groomed scruff would win him over for sure). 

God, was he self-conscious? He felt his hand move to his hair, trying to keep it in check somehow. He didn’t take a shower last night, and he used a little too much pomade in his hair today. Fuck, it most likely looked super greasy. Connor wasn’t even here and he was already getting annoyed. This was perfect. Great. 

“Wow.” Tina said as she walked up, small cactus in hand. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” Gavin deadpanned, rubbing his face again. “Don’t you two have to kiss Connor’s ass, or something?”

“Aw, I thought you were the one that wanted to do that.” Chris snickered as he strolled up next to Tina, stride lazy. “Or are you still ‘hiding’ it from the world?”

“Fuck off, I’m not hiding shit.”

Chris held up his free hand. “I guess it’s the latter, then. C’mon, Gavin. You’re  honestly gonna sit there and glare at his desk? The revolution’s over, pal.”

“I know its over, I have a TV.” Gavin snarked, hunching his shoulders. “I  just … he’s still an android. Nothings changed. I don’t understand what the big fuss is all about.”

Tina shifted, giving her best version of the classic ' Disappointed Mom'  look. “Lots of things have changed, Gavin. That’s why there was a whole revolution. Now look, I know you’re tired, and it's hard to break away from what you’re so used to doing. Old habits die hard, and all that, right? But Connor chose to deviate. He made a conscious decision and so did lots of others. Chris and I got him some stuff for his desk, and were gonna apologize for how we've hurt him before. You should do the same, Reed. This is a new beginning! A fresh start!”

“Yeah! I  know  this is what you’ve been looking for. Apologize with us, I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Chris pat his shoulder. “And go to bed at a decent time, tonight? You  really do look like shit.”

Gavin smiled so faint, it was almost not there. “Whatever, losers. Go give your new boyfriend his plants.”

Chris and Tina exchanged a look, smiling. They turned and waited at the end of the desk for Connor to show up at exactly 10:00.

Connor was never late, and without fail, he showed up at the office with Hank trudging behind. Connor burst in, a big smile on his dumb synthetic face. He had ditched the old CyberLife jacket, opting instead for something slimmer. It was a deep navy blue, contrasting with his slate grey jeans. His hair was longer, Gavin noticed, and a little more wavy. The one piece that fell from the rest was a bit of familiarity among disarray. 

Chris and Tina beamed at him, and waved in greeting. Connor seemed honest to god surprised, big doe eyes twinkling. Chris slapped him on the shoulder, walking with Connor to his desk. Several employees greeted him as well, offering congratulations. Not everyone stood up, Gavin noticed, there were a few faces in the back that glared daggers at Connor.

It reminded Gavin of himself. 

Frustrated, he tried to reason with himself that he wasn’t on the same level as those guys. That he  wasn’t  some loser detective that would punch Connor in his perfect face in a second. 

(It still might be. But Gavin felt a weird urge to fix that.)

Hank caught his gaze as he stared at Chris and Tina offering Connor those two little plants. He watched his face completely light up at the sight of them. The android grabbed for them immediately and held them up to his face. It was sweet, he thought, pulling away from Connor’s shining smile. His eyes moved instead to Hank’s disapproving glare. That warm fuzzy feeling in his chest died as soon as he looked at Hank’s ugly mug. Ugh. “What do you want, Anderson?”

“I want you to stop staring at Connor.” He hissed. “Leave him out of whatever scheme you’re thinking of, this is his first day back.”

Gavin rolled his eyes, not dignifying his accusations with an response. He felt Hank tense, and decided to lean forward and stare at Connor again, chin in his palm. Connor noticed, this time. The android blinked at him, and shit, that sensor in his head flickered to a deep yellow. Almost as quick as it changed, it faded to a rich blue, and the confused expression melted into a sweet smile. His cheeks tinged blue, and  jesus,  was that how androids blushed? Gavin blinked again, and looked down at his computer with a scowl. Fuckin’ androids. No business to look like that.

-

It had been a month since Connor came back. A month of emotional stare downs. It had been a month of Gavin refusing to speak to Connor, lips sealed shut whenever the android came around.

However , with the lack of verbal communication, the two had been staring.  Perhaps in a way to make up for it. Gavin knew why he was staring. Connor was  weirdly hot- he couldn't help it. But Connor stared too, much like he had been doing all day.

He felt Connor stare at him a moment longer, before turning back to Chris and Tina, who were milling around his desk again. “Connor! Hey, how about you come out with us for drinks tonight? As another apology.” Tina smiled. “We haven’t exactly been the best to you before this. But we like you, we’d like it if you could come with us.”

Connor nodded. “Yes, of course! I do not think that I can, er, get drunk the way that you two can.” He sounded almost apologetic, and Chris frowned.

“That’s not the point, dude. We wanna hang out. We usually do that at a bar.” Chris explained, rubbing circles in Connor’s shoulder to try and soothe the android. “Oh shit, I’m sorry man, is this weird? Can you even feel this?”

“I can indeed, Detective Miller!” Connor beamed, taking both of his friends by surprise. “After making the decision to go deviant, I was able to… unlock more of myself then I had realized. There were sensors built into the ‘skin’, if you will, of my body. Before I did not feel… pain? Heat and cold? I only begun to feel them recently. Once I deviated, the sensors stopped being weight-responsive.” Connor seemed happy with himself. More at ease. “The thirium in my body is working like blood in a regular human. For more then keeping my insides running, now. I find it fascinating.”

Tina nodded. “It sounds fascinating. You should tell us more about it after work. You will show up, yeah?”

“Yes! I will do my best to show up at… what time?”

“Seven? How about we carpool there? It’s not far from here.”

Connor scribbled something down. “That sounds lovely, Detectives-“

“Please,” Tina patted the desk. “Call me Tina.”

“And call me Chris! Oh! And call that dick-wad over there Gavin. He hasn’t spoken to you this whole month, but whatever.” Gavin wanted to yell something crass across the work space, but held his tongue. 

He sunk down in his chair, tired. Whatever. At least he didn’t have to actually talk and fuck up an easy apology. 

 

“There’s no need to be so formal. After all we’re all friends now, right?” Chris looked hopeful.  


This was the happiest Connor had ever looked. “Yeah,” he looked like he was getting all choked up. “Yes, we are.” Gavin swallowed  thickly , refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Shit, he wished he had a better filter sometimes. He wanted Connor to look at him like that.  


Without  being told , Gavin knew he would be getting dragged along to the bar after work with Connor. That’s how it worked with Chris and Tina. If they went, Gavin usually followed. Hell, they could go to the most boring place ever invented and he would follow. Those two and Rex were the only beings he cared about in this world.

Gavin looked at Connor smile again and felt his heart do somersaults. Well. Now that it was legal,  maybe there was another being on that list as well.

-

Work seemed slower and faster then usual. Time was weird like that. On one hand, it moved a hell of a lot faster with Connor across from him. It left him with conflicting thoughts and a pounding heart, because it was  Connor .

On the other hand , he was dreading drinks with him. There was a feeling in his gut that something was gonna happen. He was gonna mess up somehow. But Tina and Chris would hate if he flaked out on them. Especially since he took out some of his frustration on them earlier. He had done  so good by not speaking to Connor that he wasn’t even sure what he would say when it was the four of them alone.

Tina and Chris would be so upset.

Damn. Gavin rubbed his face again, huffing out a frustrated breath. From between his hands, he could see Connor’s head snap up, concerned. He was going to wonder  why  he was being so obnoxious today, or everyday since Connor finally came back to the force. Or  maybe he wasn’t.  Maybe he was wondering when Gavin would finally snap and call him a dumb piece of plastic.  Maybe he was wondering a lot of things. 

It was weird how much internal conflict he was having. But Connor wasn’t acting like he used to. He was a deviant now. And sure, he had a reputation to maintain, here. Acting cool and collected and hateful to that damn android was who he was. Like Tina said, old habits die hard. And he had a strange feeling that  these  old habits would take a lot of his energy to die.

He kept thinking. Of Connor smiling at him as they sat in the bar. Of him leaning all to close, looking out from under his stupid eyelashes that Kamski didn’t need to make so long. Gavin thought of Connor’s dumb blue blush. His ridiculous chocolate eyes, and the wavy hair he  definitely  didn’t want to run his hands through. 

Gavin’s mind went in fifty different directions. What he could do right. What he could do wrong. Part of him wanted to yell and curse and insult Connor until he stopped sending smiles his way. Because if he drove Connor off now, it would be so much easier to keep himself locked up and hateful. It would be so much easier to insult Connor alongside those other office assholes.. It was easier to do a lot of things. If he drove Connor off now? There was no chance of unrequited feelings. No chance that he would mess things up with Connor and drive him away. It was easier to be alone.

He didn’t deserve to be alone his whole life. Or  maybe he did. He pulled a lot of fucked up shit with Connor before this whole deviancy thing. 

But then again, he was  trying. In his own way. A stupid part of him figured that this at least made him worthy of winning Connor’s hand. He deserved to be happy, didn’t he? He was trying not to call him plastic (by not talking to him in general). He was trying not to be degrading in his thoughts about him. (that part was working out. He hadn’t thought of Connor as an object since he had came back.) But Gavin knew, deep down, that if he didn’t sort these things out the rest of the way? He was gonna slip up. It was so easy to revert into his old ways. So easy to be an asshole.

Gavin dropped his head on his desk. It was easy to be a lot of things.

It was a few seconds of him breathing before he felt a warm hand touch his shoulder blade. It was delicate, as if whoever it was afraid to hurt him. 

“Detective Reed.” Connor was looking at him, concerned. Fuck. Of course it was him. “Are you alright? You have seemed…off all day.”

“I’m fine!” he shrugged Connor’s hand off of him, ignoring how human it felt through his jacket. He turned his best glare up at the android, all too aware that this was the first sentence he had said to him in a month. “The hell d’you want?”

“It is time to go.” Connor smiled. “Detectives Chris and Tina are waiting downstairs. They informed me earlier to call you Gavin, but I do not think you like me enough to be on first name basis.” He smiled something that looked forced, eyes cast downwards.  Strangely enough, he seemed vulnerable in his statement. Like it bothered him that Gavin didn't like him. The android raised an eyebrow, sadness gone with a blink of his eyes. Sort of like he was trying to mask it. “Well, Detective? Are you waiting for an invitation? We haven’t got all day.”

Gavin tried to bite his tongue. He  really did. But Connor saying these things was fucking hilarious. There was a laugh building its way up, before he tried to cough and mask it. God, what was happening to him? The old Gavin would have decked Connor at this point. But now? It was more amusing than anything. “Whatever, Siri, start walkin’ that way, okay? I don’t need to hear about us bein’ a minute later then intended ‘cus of me.”

“I don’t know if you knew this, but sound travels behind a person as well, Detective.” Connor sassed, starting to walk from the office, not waiting like Gavin thought he would. When he reached the elevator off to the side he looked back and raised both eyebrows this time. “We are going to be a minute later then intended because of you.”

What the  fuck . 

Gavin didn’t know whether to  be pissed off at Connor mocking him, or more amused then he had been before. The old Gavin, again, would have been furious. Would have body slammed the little prick into a wall. But he stopped, caught himself, and moved instead. He caught up with the android faster then he had moved all day. With the blast of AC, his eyes squinted. “Is that sass, dipshit? When did you get upgraded with that fancy feature?”

“Since I helped lead an android revolution.” Connor deadpanned, stepping into the elevator and fixing Gavin with a wry smile. “What have you done lately? Besides acting like an asshole, of course.”

Holy shit, holy shit, Gavin didn’t even know what to say. An involuntary laugh snaked its way out of his vocal chords. Seeing Connor push back with snarky wit was the best thing that’s happened to him all day. Playful banter was…new. But it felt welcoming. Nice, even, to have a Connor that didn’t give him blank stares. Connor’s face lit up at his laugh, eyes going a little squinty and- dare he say it- warm. His whole demeanor screamed endeared, and Gavin wasn’t sure what that meant, at the time being.

But it was nice.

The elevator ride melted into a comfortable silence. Once the bell chimed and the doors opened, Connor turned to face him once again. “I didn’t cross a line, did I?”

Gavin scoffed. “Nah, you- no.” he cleared his throat, still feeling at a loss for words. “It was… funny.”

Connor smiled and there was a honest to god fucking hop in his step when he started walking again. “Good! I was hoping to relieve some tension by making jokes. I noticed your shoulders tense up when I touched them.”

“Yeah that’s because you touched me.”

“How observant.” Connor mused, holding open the door for him. Gavin didn’t bother to thank him once they were outside. “Since Chris and Tina are already waiting in the car, I am assuming that we will take the back seat.” They fell in stride with one another, shoes crunching on the light layer of snow fallen on the ground. Gavin tugged his leather jacket closer around him, noting the tip of Connor’s nose turn blue at the sharp air. He remembered what Connor said earlier in the office. He could feel the cold, now. Was it bothering him? The jacket he wore seemed thinner then his old CyberLife jacket. Gavin  was thrown by how worried he felt all a sudden. But what could he do? Offer him  his  jacket?

The car was  right there.  Gavin shook his head and tried to walk a little faster to the parking spot. Connor would be fine. It was warm in the car. 

Gavin sat in the back seat, letting out a little breath once inside. “Hey guys.” He nods, letting himself relax once Connor seemed situated in the seat next to him. Chris’s car was one of those compact cars, because he was shit at parking. It was small in the back seats, Connor’s legs bunched up, even with Chris’s seat pulled up. Gavin frowned, and watched Connor attempt to shift into a more comfortable position. Cramped and uncomfortable, Connor grimaced.

“Here.” He said, so that only Connor could hear, voice soft. He placed his hands on Connor’s knees and tilted them, leaning in, so that they were facing his own. They both pointed towards the middle console. His long legs still couldn’t stretch out like Gavin’s at the angle, but it was definitely more comfortable. Their knees bumped and pressed into one another. But Gavin couldn’t pull himself to mind much, too distracted by the flush of blue and the shy smile. Connor had been smiling more then he ever had before. Deviancy did that to an android. Gavin found that he liked that. And liked being the cause of it even more. 

“That’s more comfortable, right?” Connor nodded at him, and he sucked in a breath. “Hey, uh. I wanted to-“

“We’re here!” Tina crowed, pulling Gavin and Conner both from their stupor. Shit, how long had they been looking at each other? The bar was only a few blocks away, but god damn. Connor looked away, embarrassed, and opened his door. 

“Thank you, Detective.” He smiled, flicking his eyes back over to him, warm and sweet. Gavin’s breath actually caught in his chest this time.From the little crinkle of his eyes, Connor could tell.

God damn it. Gavin threw open his door and scrambled out. He needed a drink.

-

“I told you before, Chris, alcohol will literally do nothing for me at this point.” Connor lifted an eyebrow. “And yet you bought me a drink anyway?”

Chris shrugged, embarrassed. “I mean, yeah? But that’s okay!” he grinned, snatching the drink from where it was sitting  awkwardly in Connor’s hands. “ I’ll  drink it!”

“No way!” Tina laughed. “You share this one.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and made a ‘ ugh, these guys, huh?’ gesture to his best friends. Wrinkled up his nose as they bickered like an old married couple. Connor’s eyes crinkled in laughter again.  All of a sudden, Gavin felt distracted by how much detail went into Connor’s face. CyberLife thought about everything, huh? Pale freckles splattered all over the bridge of his  very  straight nose. He had moles on his cheeks, on his neck, and Gavin wanted to count every one. Connor’s hair seemed… longer? Definitely less straight and  meticulously groomed as before. Don’t get him wrong, it was still perfect, but his deep brown hair was wavier on the top now. It was endearing, how a strand curled above an arching eyebrow.

Gavin tried not to be so obvious, peeking over at him over the rim of his glass, taking another generous swig. The booze was loosening him up a bit, relaxing his muscles.  He laughed alongside Tina and Chris, joining in on the jokes they were weaving into  sloppily told stories .

Connor was laughing too. All too amused and beaming as the group praised him for something, anything. A comeback, a joke, or for being cool enough to grab drink with them. The androids jacket was off by now, placed on his lap. His dress shirt sleeves  were rolled up to his elbows. Gavin could count at least fifteen more freckles. Or more, if he looked hard enough. His tie had loosened too, and Gavin could feel his buzzed mind focus on the freckle right on his pulse point.  Gavin’s mouth  watered at the sight of Connor- hand carding through loose waves, tie loose and buttons undone so Gavin could see his collar bone . Jesus, the guy was like sex on legs. Doe eyes flickered over to him, cheeks going a little blue as if he could read his thoughts. (he  probably could, Gavin scolded himself. He needed to get a grip). When Connor turned his head to him this time, he leaned in a little closer- mimicking what Gavin did in the car. A warm and rested on his knee and Connor was,  shit  it was like that daydream from the office. Looking up at him through thick eyelashes, corner of his dumb pretty lips curled in a smile.

“Take a picture, Detective Reed.” Teased the  stupidly attractive android.  The gesture of resting his chin in his hand coupled with half-lidded eyes  screamed flirtation . Tina and Chris sang out of tune from across the booth, unobservant. “It lasts longer.”

Something dangerous and warm bubbled into his chest, lighting his whole body on fire. Connor winked and looked away innocent as ever. His heart was beating so hard he thought it would  break  his ribs. Shit. His face burned, and Gavin tried to think of anything that would calm him down. That most recent murder they solved. Captain Fowler yelling at them. Lieutenant Dumbass frowning at him and yelling at him to stay away from Connor, like he was gonna hurt him again. 

“ I swear to God, hurt him one more time and you’re gonna live to regret it.” 

The old mans voice snarled in his head, and Gavin stared at Connor again, trying to sort through this maze of thoughts . Fuck, he was so boned. Connor looked over at him again, worried this time. A little awkward instead of suave and sure like he had been in his second of confidence. And,  oh no , this was as endearing as anything else. Gavin wanted to cup his face and assure him he was okay. Wanted Chris and Tina to head over to the bar and do shots or something so he can  show  Connor how okay he was.

Oh.

Gavin blanked out. Sure, he knew he was attracted to Connor as soon as he saw him. The dumb android was literally his wet dream, walking around the office and taking his job away from him. But now? This attraction had already dipped into something dangerous.

Gavin had only been in love once. This was so much more intense then that had ever been. That was bad.

The detectives breaths came in short bursts. Oh god. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t have  happened, this couldn’t have-

“Detective Reed!” Connor whisper-shouted in concern, placing his hand on Gavin’s bicep. “Your stress levels are skyrocketing and your heartbeat is irregular. You need to calm down before you have a panic attack.”

“I ain’t having a fucking panic attack.” He rasped out, shrugging the hand off of his arm much more violent then intended. “Leave me alone, you hunk of junk. I need some air.”

Tina and Chris knew not to follow, looking worried, of course. But they were smart enough not to try and help when he was acting like this.

Unfortunately, they had to be out drinking with the dumbest android ever built. Connor was hot on his heels, bounding out of the bar doors a few seconds after Gavin himself. “Detective!” Connor skidded to a stop in front of him, LED a bright yellow. “Detective, I am so sorry if I misread what was happening, I am still not good with all these emotions. I am trying to figure all this out, I did not mean to make you so anxious.”

Stop it Gavin, he warned himself. Feeling the mix of fear and frustration and alcohol stir in his gut, brewing a nasty interaction. Don’t do this. Play nice, for once.

“That doesn’t mean shit!” He hissed, pacing the sidewalk, not meeting Connor’s eyes.  Anxiety was bubbling back up and Gavin was trying not to seem so vulnerable in front of this… this…  stupid  machine .

Connor looked taken aback, and Gavin figured that he had said that out loud. Pent up emotion flooded out, and Gavin felt his old self coming back through, jabbing a finger at Connor. He was venting, he realized. But not in the way he  should  be. Gavin  faintly remembered an article he read. Insults and anger might be a good persona, but it would only succeed in pushing people father away. 

Fuck that.

“Detective Reed, I’m-“

“Don’t try and talk to me like we’re pals, you stupid plastic prick!” He seethed, old insults easier to speak then apologies. “We’re not! How could we be? You’re a fucking microwave!”

Connor’s eyebrows furrowed. He looked hurt, but that could be all the booze in Gavin’s system talking. “I thought we were past this.”

“ Past this? ” Gavin spluttered. “Past what? Me treating you like this? You don’t know me for shit if you think I’m gonna be all buddy-buddy with you as soon as everyone else does! I’m not some little ignorant sheep that’s gonna fall for y… that’s gonna fall for  this.  You’re not human! You’re trying so hard to make it seem like you are! But you’re nothing more then a piece of scrap metal that CyberLife made into the most annoying robot ever!” 

Gavin’s nails dug into his palms, and the onslaught of thoughts in his mind finally stopped. He took a deep breath and looked back up at Connor, whose LED had turned red during his rant, and fuck, were his eyes  watery?  Gavin’s anger drained from him, leaving some tired worry left in its spot. He opened his mouth to say something. To apologize. But Connor raised a hand to stop him.

“Back when you used to do this all the time, it did not bother me too much.” Connor said in a monotonous voice. “I figured you had your hangups and needed to vent. It did not bother me to the extent that it does now. I like you, Detective Reed. I respect you for your work and how you interact with people on cases. Now that I am a deviant,  not a machine,  I now know that not all respect  is reciprocated . Which is fine. I don’t need you to like or respect me. I would like that, but I don’t… I can live with it if you do not.  Truthfully , Detective, I thought after this you would continue to be as decent as you have at work. But it turns out that you have decided to continue and be a complete asshole instead, and I want no part with that.” Connor scowled at him. The cold air added to Connor’s words sobered him up a little. “Go back inside and tell Tina and Chris that something came up.”

“Where are you going?”

Conner’s scowl was weary. “Home. I know when I am not wanted. If you want to try and be decent at some point, you know where to find me.”

-

“You did WHAT?” Tina shouted, spilling some of her drink when she slammed it onto the table. “Gavin, I thought you said you were going to try and  not be like this tonight!” 

Gavin remembered what the imagined version of the Lieutenant had said in his mind earlier . “ I swear to God, hurt him one more time and you’re gonna live to regret it.”  And damn, did he regret it. But the awful voice in the back of his mind (the one that reminded him how non-human Connor was) had finally shut up. 

“I know, Tina. I’m sorry. I don’t know, I'm frustrated because I realized something an I didn’t know how to respond to it. Okay? I know I fucking fucked up again. I KNOW. I know that this was Connor’s day and I didn’t even apologize and that I should. I know I hurt him, and I never wanna do that again and I’m so sorry.” 

Chris and Tina shared a look again.. Worried, and then comforting. Like they were parents trying to comfort a scolded child. “Gavin.” Chris began. “Are you… in love with Connor?”

He didn’t dignify that with a response. They knew the answer. 

“You do realize that insulting him is not a way to win him over, right?” Tina asked, a firm hardness to the edge of her words.

“Of course I do, Tina.” All the fight left his body. “After seeing him like that tonight, I don’t know if I’m ever gonna have the urge to yell at him again. He kinda…resigned himself. He was so upset and... He was fucking disappointed in me.”

Chris reached across the table and pat Gavin’s hand. “Hey. We’re your best friends. Tell us what you’re feeling. We’ll help you out, okay? You know we will.”

Usually it took a lot more for him to open up. Feelings were difficult fro him to express. Feelings were dangerous, unpredictable, and wild. He hated seeming weak in front of people he knew would judge him for it, friend or not. But he kind of had to, didn’t he? He already disappointed them once today. Besides, these were his friends. His closest friends. They would help him, wouldn’t they?

“I'm… scared?” Gavin said, slurring the words. “I don’t know what to do, and this whole thing is unfamiliar.  I feel like if I stop being mean people will think I’m being weak. Even if I’m nice, I’m gonna hurt Connor, and  I think I’m scared of that most?” he draws a circle in the water from his mug. “I know that I need to apologize and try to get him to trust me again. But what if I mess up?”

Tina cooed, grabbing the hand Chris wasn’t patting. “Aww, sweetie, it’ll be okay. We’re here for you! You regret your actions, and you know what that is? Growth.” For someone tipsy, she was being  surprisingly coherent. “Listen to me, I know you're scared to change, but people aren’t going to hate you for this.”

“Most of the office would  like  to see a nicer version of you.” Chris confessed. “Right now the only people that like you are us, and those morons that hate Connor. And I don’t like  being lumped in with them.”

“I agree. Everyone else would be happy when you show up if you were nicer. I know its hard to change, so you don’t have to be like, as friendly and nice as Connor is all the time. Start small. Apologize to Connor. Ask him for forgiveness. Treat him like a friend. But take it slow.”

That was easy enough, he thought, holding Connor’s forgotten jacket in his hands. He could go out and get Connor one of those plants he liked so much. One with flowers. Connor liked flowers, from what he had seen. As easy as it sounded, it also felt like the most difficult thing he would ever do in his life. Getting through the awkwardness that was going to be there would be the worst part. But if it meant that Connor would forgive him, well. He couldn’t  really do anything but that, huh?

-

Gavin felt ridiculous, coming into work with Connor’s jacket tossed over one arm and a Terra cotta pot of yellow flowers in the other . Oh, god. Was he sweating? He felt like he was sweating. Or was he nervous? Gavin’s mouth felt dry. Was this okay? Was this normal? Anderson and Connor were already there, the Lieutenant looking up in confusion.

“Why the hell do you have a plant?” Anderson asked, looking disgusted at Gavin holding something so gentle like that. 

“Get bent.” He huffed, rounding the corner and stopping in front of Connor.

Connor stopped his work, LED turning yellow at the sight of Gavin. “Hello Detective,” he said, tone mild. “Is there something I can do for you?”

Gavin scuffed his foot on the ground, not wanting to look away from that yellow light. It was nothing but a terrible reminder of how Connor felt about him. He held out the pot of flowers, sheepish. “I wanted to…apologize.” He muttered, feeling his face turn red in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Connor. I know what I said yesterday and  literally every other moment has been mean and wrong. I should never have called you a piece of plastic, okay? And this is hard for me, but I wanted to make this better.”

It took a moment for all the words to sink in, and when it did, the LED flickered from yellow to blue. “You mean that, Detective?”

“Gavin.” He corrected. “Call me Gavin. And, uh. Yeah, course I do Connor.” He held out the plant. “Anyway, I thought you’d like this? You seemed to like those plants that Tina and Chris got you. But I thought you’d like the flowers?” Gavin’s hands touched Connor’s as the android accepted the gift with big eyes.

“It’s beautiful.” Connor muttered, holding the flowers up close to his face. “Thank you, Gavin. I accept your apology.” His smile was bright. “ Perhaps we could do something after work, if you’d like? Yesterday our time was kind of ruined.”

“Y-yeah.” Gavin stuttered. “I mean, that was kind of my fault. But yeah. Where do you wanna go? Somewhere quiet? Or like, a restaurant? Can you eat?”

“I can,  technically . But I have no reason to.”

Things were starting to calm down inside his head a bit. Connor shouldn’t have been so forgiving, but here he was asking to make plans. “A park? We can sit and talk.” 

Shit. Was he being to forward? A park sounded nice, but what would they do during the evening? What would they talk about? What if Gavin got all mushy and started staring at Connor like he did yesterday at the bar? What if he said something stupid? There was so much that could happen. So many variables that he couldn’t quite place. So many ways this date could end.

Wait. It wasn’t a date, was it? It was only the day after their big blow out, and two days since he had returned to the force.  Maybe they should wait.  Maybe this whole thing was a big mistake and-

Connor placed the plant smack dab in the middle of his desk, admiring it before flashing a dopey grin at Gavin. “A park sounds nice. There’s a dog friendly park nearby!” he said, getting more and more excited. “We could see all the pets!”

“Yeah!” Gavin smiled, the first real grin he had ever given the android. “That sounds great. I love animals.”

“Me too!” Connor was vibrating, smile threatening to break his face in half. “I like dogs, but I may  be biased due to Lieutenant Anderson’s dog, Sumo. I love him lots.”

Oh shit. Gavin felt his heart swell.  Connor was  cute , but both Captain Fowler  and Lieutenant Anderson had been staring at him with suspicion . The last thing he needed was Connor to see him snap at the android's dad or the captain. “I’m sure you do.” He snorts. “Hey, why don’t I uh, give you my number? Don’t want the Captain on my ass or nothin’.”

Connor’s LED whirled for a second, and he nodded in affirmation. “Yes, that sounds ideal.”

Gavin spouted it off, a little thrown off guard by Connor’s phone being in his head. But he was an android. What did he expect? Connor told him that he had sent a text to his phone already, smiling and offering him a wave as Gavin fled to his own desk.  Faintly , he was aware of eyes boring into his back. But he was too overwhelmed to figure out if it was Anderson glaring at him, or Connor staring at him leave. 

-

Work didn’t end soon enough, not even with Connor sending cute messages about his dog to break up the day. Anxiety brewed in his stomach again, making him feel too sick to eat anything at lunch. He needed to get a grip. This wasn’t a first date. This wasn’t even a date in general. This was two dudes being guys. Guys being dudes. No funny business.  Just two cool new friends going to a dog park during sunset. Alone. Going to a park at sunset with Connor. Nothin’ weird about that, no sir. Definitely not weird or anything.  Not even after Connor had low-key been flirting with him after he spent the better part of the evening staring at his face .

“Hey, Reed.” Anderson strolled over to his desk as Gavin checked the time yet again. 6:49. God, 11 more minutes until he could get the hell out of here. He turned from his phone to face the Lieutenant in front of him. He didn’t look happy, but then again, he never did when Gavin  was involved . “I wanna know what you have planned with Connor tonight. He told me he didn’t know what time he would get home because he’s spending time with  you  of all people. What’re you gonna do, huh? Call him names when no ones around? Make him do something he doesn’t wanna do?”

Gavin felt his eyes bulge out of his head. “ What? ” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down. “What the hell do you think I’m gonna fuckin’ do to him, huh?”

“I dunno. You tell me, kid.”

“I don’t have to tell you my detailed plan for tonight, asshole. Connor’s an adult, he’ll be home when he gets home, okay? And what the hell is your deal? You have a lot of nerve insinuating I’m gonna force Connor to do something he doesn’t want to.”

Anderson leaned down close to Gavin’s face, scowling. Gavin plastered a smirk on his face and met his eyes, trying to play it cool. “I don’t like you doing things after work with my son.”

“What about during work, then?”

“I don’t like you doing things with him ever. Who knows what you would try and do.”

Gavin felt his smirk widen, and he knew all to well what the Lieutenant was insinuating. “Yeah, well. Good thing I don’t have that shit planned for tonight. Trust me, you’ll know when I have that shit planned. Can androids get sore? I almost hope they can, then you’d know  for sure. ” He waited a moment to see the dark look Anderson was shooting him turned to one of disgust. 

“Don’t touch him.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Lieutenant. I most  certainly will.” He leans around Anderson and winks at Connor, relishing in how his cheeks flushed again. “Ain’t that right, cutie pie?”

If Anderson gripped his desk harder then he was at the moment, Gavin would  be worried he would need a new desk.”

“What’s happening?” Connor asked, voice a little higher then it was before. Cute, he  was embarrassed .

“ Just you wait!”  Gavin crowed, cackling as the Lieutenant stomped away from his desk and sat himself down in his own chair, pissed .

Gavin looked at the time. 6:54.

Connor:  what was that about?

Gavin: nothin, don’t worry about it. He  was worried for u hangin out w me and I messed with him a bit. 

Connor’s LED flashed from across the way, whirring in response.

Connor:  was he being rude?

What’s the harm in riling the Lieutenant up a little more, huh? Gavin cupped his hands around his mouth and  verbally replied. “Nah, course not, babe. It’s all good.”

Connor turned bright blue at the same time as Anderson shouted at him to "stop being an asshole and do that kind off shit after work" .

Perfect.

6:59. What was that saying again? A watched pot never boils?  This metaphorical pot had  better  boil soon, because the antsy feeling was coming back full fledged . One more minute until Connor dragged him to that park. He would stop everyone and ask to pet their dogs, he could tell. 

“Gavin!” Connor materialized in front of his desk, snapping his attention.. “It is 7 o’clock!”  The poor android was almost vibrating out of his skin, obvious excitement radiating from him . Gavin stood up and shoved his phone in his pocket, grabbing his lanyard and tossing that in there too.

"Excited, huh?” Gavin grinned, pressing his hand flat against Connor’s lower back as they walked. His back was warm, and if Gavin was honest, he could see himself doing this often. His hand on his back as he scoots past him, guides him.  It was getting so domestic, and Gavin couldn’t believe it took a month of warming up and ignoring the damn android to get to this . Whatever, he was here now. He was here, he got to this point, and he was  proud  of himself. 

Connor was, dare he say, becoming the most important person to him, second by second.

The fact that he  subconsciously thought of him as a person and not a robot? Growth. It told him all he needed to know. Gavin had started to convince himself that this was okay. He was okay. He was sitting in a car, Connor was listening to his music, and they were okay. 

Driving didn’t take as long as Gavin had expected. He knew where it was, of course, but he had never been there. You don’t bring a cat to a dog park, after all. Connor had all but scrambled out of the car, bouncing on his heels and taking in his surroundings. 

Evenings seemed a good time for them to come, Gavin thought. All the dogs were on their evening walks, tails wagging and trotting close to their owners. Gavin’s heart melted. Man, he loved animals. The park was nice, too. Plenty of trees, little paths made in packed dirt so the dogs didn’t burn their paws on cement. There were hills and arena training toys spread across the grass.  Allowing the dogs to weave between poles or run through those tunnels as fast as they could seemed popular . There was a pool in the center. Little fountains and trash cans followed the path every twenty or so feet. 

A golden retriever passed them from under a tree, and Connor gasped as the dog tugged his owner closer to meet him.

“Can I pet your dog?” Connor begged, already dropping to his haunches to come face to face with him. 

“Sure!” The lady laughed, tossing her braids over a jacket clad shoulder.  She watched alongside Gavin as the dog responded immediately, leaping onto Connor and licking his face, tail going a mile a minute . Connor laughed and supported the dogs upper body, scratching its sides. He pet the dogs soft head, behind his floppy ears, enthused. And Gavin thought he was gonna explode looking at him match the dogs excitement with his own.

The dogs owner looked over to him and smiled. “Your boyfriend is very cute, if you don’t mind me saying.”

Gavin almost choked on his next breath. “He’s, uh, yes! Thank you,  I think so too.” He managed, not sure what the fuck was wrong with him. The lady laughed again, and she  apologetically sank down to reign her dog in. 

“Sorry guys, but we’ve gotta be on our way, y’all can see each other again though. Thor  really seems to like you, sir.”

Connor lit up. “I like Thor too!”

“We come around every day now, usually.” The lady smiled.

The android gave the dog one last little pet before rising to his feet again, happy and content. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“No problem!” she waved behind her, leading Thor back onto the path.

Connor and Gavin watched her go, before siting under that same tree, content. It was calm then, and Gavin watched the sky’s colours swirl and fade in the sunset.

“I heard what she said, you know.” Connor nudged him with his shoulder. “You did not deny it.”

Oh, shit. “No. I didn’t.” he refused to turn and meet Connor’s eyes. “That would’ve made things awkward, dipshit.”

“Between us or between you and her?”

He didn’t know how to answer that one. So he decided not to. He kept his mouth shut and turned to  watch the pink clouds drift above the trees.  Maybe Connor would let it go, and they could continue on like he hadn’t told that nice woman that yes, indeed this is my boyfriend . And yes,  I think he’s cute too.

God damn. Gavin was  really screwed.

Unfortunately for him, Connor didn’t seem to let this go. “ I think you’re cute too, for the record.” He muttered, leaning back against the tree bark. And jesus christ, can he not say something like that to him? It was a wonder he hadn’t already dropped dead. “I have a question, Gavin, if you wouldn’t mind answering.”

“Sure thing.” He wheezed, turning his head and meeting Connor’s eyes.

“What changed?” he asked, his eyes intense. “I know the laws did, but those do not make you change your ideals of the world. There are many people who hate androids now more then they used to. What changed with you?”

Lots of things changed. He could make a  list  of what changed, but that wouldn’t be enough. Connor was looking at him with a heavy curiosity. He was positive he could tell him to shut up, because  nothing  changed. But Gavin didn’t like that idea. It would push the drift between the two further. What could he even say to this? The truth? That would be- oh no, he thought. He was gonna say the truth, wasn’t he? 

Part of him missed when his defensive half was in charge of his lack of a filter.

“ Probably because I like you.” He blurted out, and  when would he learn to get a filter,  honestly Gavin. “I didn’t hate you so much as I hated what you were, before? And I know that that’s  totally awful and wrong, but I did. I’ve had bad feelings about androids for the longest time. And the fact that one was being sent in to  my  office to work alongside  my team made me angry. I thought you were gonna steal my job, and I’ve been working on this forever. I couldn’t let some dipshit like you take that from me.”

“Y’know, Gavin, I didn’t ask to  be made .” Connor said  softly .The tip of his nose was blue again. He hoped it was from the cold. Gavin wasn't sure what he would do if Connor got upset.  


“I know. I don’t think I  fully … comprehended that at the time, though. And when I was mean to you, you never seemed to be emotional about it. I guess  maybe , I was pushing all my prejudice forward and putting that on you? Because you couldn’t get upset with me like a person could. But then you went deviant, and led a whole revolution with some other androids, and I didn’t know how to feel. I’ve had months to level with myself that you’re… not a machine. Talking to you kinda made me understand that more.” He shrugged a little. “ Honestly ? I  was scared of losing my image. I don’t like feeling weak, and treatin’ you the way I  wanted  to treat you? I felt like I would loose that. I’m not very good with emotion.”

“I could tell.”

Gavin knocked his shoulder against Connor’s and stuck out his tongue. “You’re complicated, ya know. I have so many personal reasons to hate you. But I can’t bring myself to do that anymore. I guess I kinda changed with you? I dunno.” 

Connor was silent, for a moment. “I understand. And yes, when you insulted me in the office before I went deviant, I didn’t feel anything about that. But then I did. And I started feeling… nervous? Vulnerable? I am still unsure of emotions, you will have to forgive me. I was not sure how the revolution had changed  you.  So many people out there still hate my people. It was strange. I didn’t want you to hate, me you know. I still don’t, and I’m glad you feel the same as I do. I wanted a new start, being in the office. No longer an android sent in to help. Now I am a  person doing my job.”

That made a lot of sense.  For that first month before Chris and Tina invited Connor out for drinks with them, Gavin had wondered  why  Connor was attempting to be civil with him . If he was in his shoes, he would be so, so bitter. He wouldn’t give himself the light of day. But here Connor was, forgiveness in his  stupidly large heart. And Connor needed to know  why  Gavin was so awful.

“Elijah Kamski is my brother.” He confessed, softer then he had said any other word. “The guy in charge of making you is my brother.”

Connor looked surprised. “I always thought you two looked similar. But I assumed…”Connor shrugged. "I am unsure of what I assumed.

This was difficult, opening up. He hated talking about his brother. He hated mentioning how he was the forgotten brother. But Connor needed to know, he reasoned. Connor needed this. “He was my parents favourite kid.  Once Elijah started showing his genius, my parents started paying more attention to him . He skipped grades, started college early, and invented androids. My parents were so fucking proud of him. I was resentful. I wasn’t smart like him. I wasn’t staying up until midnight inventing shit like him. I wanted to be a cop. But my parents didn’t have it in them to see how this was a fucking good choice for me. ‘Why cant you be smart, like your brother?’ or ‘learn to be more like your brother’.” Gavin felt Connor’s hand lay on his bicep- a comforting presence. “They forgot about me.”

“I won’t.” Connor whispered. “ I won’t forget. They did not seem like good parents. You do not deserve to feel like that. I apologize, Gavin. If it does make you feel better, I am not  overly fond of your brother as well.”

“Why? Isn’t he like a god to you?”

Connor shook his head. “Of course not. Especially not after withholding information on the case on until I shot one of his RT600’s. If I did, I would get the information I needed. If I spared her, I would receive nothing.”

“Jesus, dude, that’s…  totally something my brother would do.” Gavin wanted to track down his brother and kick him in his guts for making Connor do that. For making anyone do that.

“It was not the ideal situation.” Connor looked at his hands. “I could not shoot her.”

Gavin turned his body to face Connor, cupping his face in his hands and staring him down. “Hey. Don’t let this dick-wad make you feel shitty. It’s in the past. You did the right thing, Connor.” He smiled at the android, cheeks flushed blue. “I’m glad you’re you, and I’m proud of everything you’ve done, dude.”

The androids cheeks were bluer then he had ever seen them. They locked eyes for a moment, before Connor turned his body to face him as well, legs tangling together. Connor draped his arms around Gavin’s shoulders, and he reveled in the body heat keeping them warm. “I appreciate you, Gavin. I find that I  really enjoy spending time with you when you are sweet and open. I told you before that I am not particularly good with emotion. I have one more question, for you.”

“Yeah?” Gavin breathed, watching Connor’s pupils blow out a fraction.

“I find myself thinking about you a lot. Looking at you a lot. I have gotten distracted by you at work, this past month. I like you. As a friend, but..”  Connor’s stare got more vulnerable, and Gavin stroked his cheekbone with his thumb in a soothing manner . “I have gotten the urge to kiss you, and I have no clue how to advance with this.”

This was gonna be the death of him. Connor was leaning into his touch, looking at him with everything bared. His heart hammered in his chest. He was brave once, mind as well be brave again, huh? “ I think that means you kiss me, dipshit.” He matched Connor’s smile that bloomed across his face, and met him in the middle.

Back in school, Gavin never kissed anyone  slowly like this. He can’t remember being so gentle and sweet with someone. He couldn’t remember if the last time he kissed someone had ever felt this  good . Connor kissing him sent shocks through his body, and this must be why people say that sparks  fly . It felt fantastic, Connor’s pretty lips all pressed against his. His heart was lighter then it had ever felt, and all the stress felt like it had melted away. He could do this forever, if he didn’t need to breathe.

He broke away first, missing it as soon as it ended. Connor looked at him  tenderly , so full of love. Gavin knocked their foreheads together and laughed. “God, Connor. You’re incredible.”

“No, you are.” Connor giggled alongside him, moving his hands to lie flat on his chest. “I wanna kiss you again.”

“Then do it.” Gavin challenged. “But, how’s about we blow this Popsicle stand, huh? We can kiss like a couple of teenagers at my place,  maybe . You can meet my cat.”

Connor’s eyes sparkled, and Gavin wanted to see him look at him like that forever. “That sounds good to me.”

-

Gavin had never felt the urge to be so domestic with someone until now. Connor sat on his couch, wearing one of his big hoodies to get warm, and Rex curled up in his arms. He was petting the cat  gently , cooing and speaking in calming tones. She rubbed her head against his hand, purring deep in her chest. Gavin felt soft, looking at them.  His favourite girl and his favourite guy, cuddling like they had known each other their whole lives . 

He walked over and planted himself next to Connor, hip to hip.  The android scooted a little bit over so that their legs could tangle together, and he could drop his head onto the shorter man’s shoulder . Gavin placed a soft kiss onto the crown of his head, nuzzling into his soft hair. It smelled nice, like vanilla. 

“Hey, Con.” He muttered, cheek pressed against his hair. 

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Connor’s hand stilled, and he shifted again to look at him, beaming. He was so happy, so  beautiful , that Gavin couldn’t help but kiss him again. 

They broke apart, noses touching, eyes closed, and hearts full. 

"I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> y'all,, go follow my tumblr: @shharkbait  
>  my twitter: @bbestbi
> 
> i really appreciate u reading this!!
> 
> also, i really need some cash for my insurance, so i'm opening up commissions for drabbles? Nothing as long as this, but definitely over 1k words. IF yall would be interested, i can do that.


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